The Secret Of Happiness

Be.

Here.

Now.

No, seriously – that’s it.

If all you did was slow down, be present and stop living every moment in anticipation of being somewhere else, your so-called problems will melt away and you’ll be MUCH happier.

Let go of thinking, obsessing and all the ‘what if’s’.

Release all your goals and concerns for the future and instead replace them with the power of this instant and enjoying it to the fullest extent.

Learn to accept things as they unfold in your life – surrender to ‘what is’ and not what you think it ‘should’ be.

That applies to your spouse, the president, your boss, your kids, your financial status, etc…  As hard as this may sound, surrendering to the present moment and allowing things to unfold as they do will literally change your life immediately.

There are no lacks or shortages in your life.  You may think there are – but in reality, things are what they are.  It’s YOU who can’t accept that which causes never-ending stress.  Simplify your life by accepting EVERYTHING as it is.  Anything that may seem to be missing in your life is really only an illusion.  Learn to have contentment with ‘what is’ and you’ll begin to have a completely stress-free existence.

Look back on your life and on all the so-called problems you’ve had at one point or time.  First off, you probably can’t remember 90% of the things you used to drive yourself nuts worrying about.  And second, things always seem to work themselves out over time – they always have and always will.  You don’t need another ‘thing’ to make you happy – all you really need is right here and now because right here and now is all you’ll ever really have.

DAILY ACTION:  Catch yourself when you find yourself not in the moment or striving to be somewhere else.  Bring yourself back to the present.

Turn Off The Narrator To Live A Happy Life

The definition of a narrator is ‘a person who delivers a commentary accompanying a movie, a broadcast, etc.’  It’s basically the storyteller in a book or a film.  They keep us entertained and following along.

Often times a narrator is so good that we get caught up in the story and end up getting lost in it and unaware of our current surroundings.

That happens all the time when watching a movie.  You forget that you’re actually watching the movie and you almost feel as if you are in the movie.

Yet that is actually how most of us operate in our daily lives as well.

The majority of us are not aware and present enough to realize it… but we all live with a narrator inside our heads every single day.

In fact, most of what we say to ourselves throughout our waking hours is the narrator in our head talking.

That narrator in our head puts its spin on what’s going on in our lives… and it tells a story to us based on how it PERCEIVES things to be.

It tells us who we are, how things are going in our lives and how we should view others.

It tells us what is right, what is wrong, how things should be and how things shouldn’t be.

And it normally doesn’t shut the hell up!

Those that live the Optimized You have become aware enough to notice that this narrator exists.  They realize that almost always the cause of any stress in their lives is because they got so caught up in what the narrator is reading to them that they believed it to be true.

None of us are immune to having a narrator in our heads — however, those that live the Optimized You have learned to recognize when they are getting caught up in the narrator’s story… and can press ‘mute’ on their remote control.

Pressing mute allows them to stop and go back to the present moment.  It allows them to observe that the narrator is not them and the story it’s telling them isn’t necessarily real – it’s just the narrator’s version of it.

Byron Katie (@byronkatie) teaches to ask 4 questions when your narrator is telling you something.  Let’s say it’s telling you that a project you’re working on isn’t going to work and it’s putting you in a bad mood:

  1. Is this 100% true?  (Well, no — I guess it’s not 100% true just yet but I ‘think’ it’s gonna be true)
  2. Can you 100% absolutely know for certain that it’s true? (Again, no – I guess I can’t 100% say that it’s true.  I mean, it hasn’t not worked yet.)
  3. How do you react when you believe that thought? (It makes me feel like shit and puts me in a bad mood)
  4. Who would you be without the thought? (Well, I guess I’d just be sitting here right now in the present moment eating this sandwich that I’m eating right now)

DAILY ACTION:  Try this out next time you are having a bad day.  See if your stresses are tied to your narrator’s story.  Press ‘mute’, go back to the present moment and you’ll begin to realize that the story is just that –  a made-up story based on interpretations and beliefs.  It is not 100% real or true.      

Stop Chasing In Order To Get What You Want

Treat what you want like a butterfly.  You chase it and it will fly away from you.  You stop giving it so much attention and it will fly up to you and sit on your shoulder.

Why is it that the super hot girl in high school always went for the guy who paid her no attention… while the guy who constantly bought her flowers, built a shrine in his bedroom and wrote her poems every day never got a shot with her?

Well, other than the fact that the shrine was probably a tad bit overboard, the real reason why he never landed his dream girl is the same reason why many of us never achieve our goals – “the more we chase something, the faster it moves away from us

I remember taking a sales training course early on in my career and they taught us about treating sales as a pendulum.  And it’s essentially the same concept – the more you push at someone, the more they are turned off and view you as the pestering ‘salesman’.

But when you pull away a bit and act as if you don’t “need” the business, the more they come running after you and want to work with you.

I remember it feeling odd when trying it… but being surprised by how well it worked.

Whenever I would do the traditional salesman dance and press the customer on why they should buy my product, go over all the features and benefits and do the typical dog and pony show, they would get defensive and immediately feel like they were being sold something.

But when I took the approach of ‘look, maybe this isn’t something you should do…’ they would immediately tell me “no, no, no — it’s not that at all.  This definitely is something I want to do – I just need to understand more about XYZ first before I buy”.

So, moral of the story, if you really want something, treat it like a butterfly.  It may sound paradoxical but the more you are chasing it, the more it eludes you.  But if you turn your attention to other things, it’ll come and sit on your shoulder.

DAILY ACTION:  Think of yourself as a magnet and begin to let things flow TO you instead of you chasing after them.